King Chuck

And now for something completely different…

“Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony…  You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!”

Monte Python — Holy Grail

Yeah, I was planning to write a serious blog post on the coronation of Charles.  Hopefully, (SOON) I will find something profound to say at the next coronation.  After all, kings named Charles, don’t have such a great track record for either executive prowess or longevity.  Yes, I planned to write some pithy article on the solemnity of the event but all the time, I just kept hearing (earworm) the best toast to during the last state service in his honor … his marriage to his late wife Diana… 

“So, raise your glass to Charles and Diana, the prince and princess of Wales.  To your royal majesties.  Drink, Drink up Chuck and Di!”

Tim Cavanagh, 1987

No, I was rather like John Cleese in seeing coronation of King Charles III as a satire of a Monty Python sketch.  After all, the Archbishop of Canterbury had to make several adjustments while bestowing the crown on the new monarch’s head. Perhaps he should have practiced putting the crown on.  Then they handed him the Holy Hand grenade of Antioch.

“And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, ‘O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.’ And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas. And the Lord spake, saying, ‘First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.”

Book of Armaments, Chapter 2, verses 9-21

And then there’s Camilla…  There in her a crimson velvet and ermine Robe of State which she stole from Queen Elizabeth II and Queen Mary’s crown with the cursed Koh-I-Noor Diamond.  According to folklore, a Hindu description of the diamond warns that “he who owns this diamond will own the world, but will also know all its misfortunes. Only God or woman can wear it with impunity.”  I expect Camilla to be dead within a month😊 — “lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.”

Yeah, England has a new king… King Chuck

{sung to the tune of Steve Martin’s King Tut}